NOW WHAT?

Sometimes I look in the mirror and see a stranger, someone I detest, someone that is missing.  I find myself in a world of struggle, where I have no control and no boundaries.  Saddened by the negative effects cancer has brought me, I long for a full life just to better myself.

Growing up, I was a quiet girl, a private woman, and always kept to myself.  Writing was my sanctuary.  Although I never kept a diary, writing about anything else was my way to enjoy my simple life.  I certainly had many interesting experiences I could write about, but never courageous enough to put my private thoughts on paper (in this case, my first Blog).

In a large pot of broth, one tiny piece of carrot won’t flavour the soup.  So who am I to think anyone would even be interested in my little life.  God knows there are bigger stories out there.

I only read books when it was required in school.  I didn’t want to steal anyone’s style or ideas, even if unintentional.  Storylines kept filling my mind with specific scenes I had to expand into a short story or novel.  Plots and poems would want to jump onto pieces of paper or they wouldn’t let me be.  So it’s almost as though I didn’t have this choice.  I was drawn to writing at every point in my life.  Whether I felt good or not, writing was what my heart wanted me to do.

With all the “little” experiences in my life that often took me away from my passion, it was never forgotten.  In my eyes, it is who I am.  Although, not published, except for a poem I paid to see in a collection following a contest I didn’t win, I always considered myself a writer.  After all, we are writers if that’s what we do, not because someone pays us to do it.

Now after cancer, I want writing to be a career.

… this is an excerpt from a memoir I’m writing about having stomach cancer.  In my next post, I will introduce myself… I hope you find inspiration in my passages.

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21 thoughts on “NOW WHAT?

  1. Steve Cristofaro

    Patrica you have been through so much. You climbed the tallest, hardest mountain, and stood tall at the top of it with your arm held high telling yourself, I’ve made it. Everything else will be easy from now on. Where people see mountains of problems, you’ll see them as molehills.
    Good luck with your walk through the park to your dream, because your writing is amazing.
    I’m eager to read more of your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Milva Di Zazzo

    Patricia, we were not close friends in high school but there was something about you that I really admired. Perhaps I saw a little bit of myself. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m at a crossroads in my life, not a health scare but a life changing event. As I try to figure out what to do, it is very inspiring to see you follow your dreams. I look forward to reading everything you write! Stay beautiful & strong xox

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Carmie & Ernie

    Congratulations Patricia, you are an inspiration to your family and friends and soon will be to many more. Thank you for opening your heart and following your dream. Looking forward to reading more…xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nathalie

    God Bless you Patricia!! You have the right to be proud of what you have conquered to get where you are in life. May you have all the success in your writing. My thoughts are with you xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Erminia (Ernie) Tarantino

    I admire you and anyone else who went through what you have. I wonder if this goal in mind helped you get better. Never give up on your dreams. I have the same dream of writing a poetry book. I need a push though…hope your blogs and your book inspire me to go for it. God bless. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t remember if I answered you, but, if I may suggest something, it would be to go ahead and write the poetry for yourself. When it’s complete, then you can decide to go further with it (i.e. getting it published). I’ve always written for myself. That’s why it was difficult for me the first time I put my work out there for the world to read. But I have no regrets!

      Like

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