My sisters helped my parents search for a home in the area we all live in now. Renovations had to be done when they finally bought a house no more than a five minute car ride from mine. Only my dad lived there for the first weeks since my mother was still with me when they made the transfer about two months after the end of my treatments in April of 2005. My sisters and I all live in such close vicinity, so it’s easy to walk over to each other’s houses (except for my house, which is a half hour walk away). A car is more practical to get to my parents house.
So why would my father choose, at such a crucial time for all of us, to add to their stress? I think it’s because change is not intimidating for him. In fact, I too, accept life’s transitions with pleasure. I kind of enjoy change. I have to if I’m going to accept the major changes in my anatomy and lifestyle following cancer.
When my father decided to sell the other house while I was in treatment, it made me think he was in such fear of losing me, he may have realized there was no reason to keep living away from his children, who had moved about fifteen minutes away. This doesn’t seem so far, but my parents were both retired and didn’t drive.
Certainly, my father would never admit he chose to move to this new neighbourhood for us, but what was really left for him in that house? He made it seem it was a normal transition for him, like all the previous moves that just made sense. In most ways they were smart moves, since my Dad was always right about the choices he made for the family finances. The housing market was ridiculously high so he took advantage – great for him. Being closer to each other was better and easier… and nice.
My dad was going to be eighty-one that summer, so maintaining a house and rentals was becoming a big job and demanded more patience than he had. Funny… he still bought a big house when he moved closer to us (less the tenants)! Today, some of the children do most, if not all of the work in and around his house – the house with yet again two kitchens, three bedrooms, a living room, family room, and two bathrooms. But that’s another story…