In Preparation

The day prior to surgery, I entered the hospital for that lovely ocean water that would clean out my digestive system.  And we all know how that went.  The surgeon stopped in after lunch to see how I was doing.  I showed him the pictures of Isabella;  pointing to the frame that sat on the side table next to my bed.  “Save me for her.”

My husband came after work and stayed until I was done with the cocktail.  Then the nurse said he had to leave.  It was passed midnight.

I had finished my will that day, as I lay in the bed in my semi-private room, and put it in my purse for safekeeping.  No one knew I had written it.  Certainly, it would be found if something happened to me.

I was oblivious to the baby-blue-coloured walls in the room, and the neighbor that went about her business in the bed next to me.  Though only a dull-beige curtain separated us, I felt I was alone in the room.

The stress and distraction of the last few weeks had exhausted me, and I don’t remember whether I slept well that night.  I didn’t feel like a long night, once my intestines and colon were cleaned out;  but, considering the circumstances, I doubt it was a restful sleep.

In retrospect, there wasn’t any fear at that point, since I had made the unconscious decision to put my life in God’s hands – and the surgeon’s.  I don’t think worrying would have changed anything.  I was just following the flow of things.  I felt safe and calm.  I had no idea what was coming following the change of my anatomy, but I was ready to find out.


Pass on the words I share – they are the truth, the moments, and the wisdom I hope to encourage everyone with to love life and each other.



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