My husband would pass by the hospital after work. As soon as he’d arrive, he’d tell me he was going for a bite. I was surprised and perplexed, because he did each day. “Why wouldn’t you just go before coming?” I’d laugh, thanks to the meds.
It was the weekend, around dinner time, and a large part of my immediate family was visiting. Knowing I wasn’t able to eat, I could hear them whisper options of where they could go for a quick dinner. “Why don’t you just pick up something and have it here?”
It felt really nice to have them all there together, and I didn’t want them to leave. “You could get smoked meat sandwiches or chicken. It’s alright if I can’t have it. I’d love to just smell it.” It makes me giggle as I remember this awkward moment.
I could tell they were shocked by my request, because they all just stared blankly at me. But they soon obliged, understanding that it was what I wanted, and they shouldn’t feel guilty about eating in front of me.
Now that I think about it, was it that they just didn’t like eating in a hospital room? I feel that way too at times – especially post-op – concerned about the environment I’m eating in. But when I’m hungry, I’ll eat pretty much wherever I can.
Hunger did not exist for me at that point, but I just wanted to enjoy the aromas. I wanted to remember them. I realized I had a special appreciation for them now.
Things felt different for me once my stomach was removed. Eating is such a large part of life, and here I was, not eating for days and weeks. There was the feeding tube to keep me satiated, but it was strange not having to think about food. Now it was natural for me, in my new state, not to be worried about hunger. I suppose it was good for me that I was adapting well and quickly.
Summer may soon be over, but let’s be grateful for the wonderful one we had. Think of this time as a fresh start. Do the things you kept putting off. I don’t write as much during the brief summer months, but as my daughter returns to school, and schedules become routine anew, I hope to work on my own projects that need attention.