Daily Prompt: Perplexed

via Daily Prompt: Perplexed

I refer you to “Dark Dreams” posted yesterday, and which has perplexity written all over it (https://livingaftercancerblog.wordpress.com/2016/09/13/dark-dreams/).  I was always intrigued by dreams.  What do they mean?  Why do they become nightmares or attempt to fulfill desires?  How does our daily life manifest itself in our dreams?

I think, in my case, dreams are partly my vivid imagination, parts of my day, or strong emotions I’ve experienced recently.  It’s baffling to think that something so horrid from our dreams could carry itself into the real world.  I read a book a long time ago that explained that the messages are what to take from our dreams, and not the literal sense.  Fascinating and perplexing trying to decipher these dreams!

Here is a copy of yesterday’s post that describes a nightmare while I was in the hospital following stomach cancer surgery:


In the second week, during my sleep, I began to have nightmares of my daughter.  They were awful and very graphic.  No matter how many times I’d be awakened by the fearful pictures, the next time I’d fall asleep, the dream would repeat itself and worsen.  Horrible things would happen to her… she was surrounded by fire or would fall into something as dreadful.  I couldn’t help or get to her.  It felt like doomsday.

I felt guilty for having those dreams, and the fear was traumatizing.  After about six or seven dreams, I told the nurse that I wasn’t able to handle them anymore.  She stared at me for a moment.  It was as though she was asking herself, “and how am I supposed to change your dreams?!”  Then, calmly, she explained that the epidural could have been causing the nightmares, and she would reduce the medication.  Thankfully, the nightmares subsided after that.

Eventually, the epidural was removed, and oral painkillers replaced it.  The skin on my torso still felt numb to the touch, and I couldn’t imagine what was going on inside where my stomach used to be.  I don’t remember ever feeling pain following the surgery.  My knee surgery – well, when they put me under anesthesia to force my leg straight and set a full-leg cast – three years earlier, was excruciating!  I couldn’t receive enough painkillers once I woke up from anesthesia that time.


I hope you’ll keep reading… weekly posts can be read on this site in chronological order beginning last December.

Be well,



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