Failure To Launch

Also, during the second week, my weight continued to decline.  I had lost five pounds earlier that summer from trying “The South Beach Diet.”  Not that I was overweight, but I wanted to get healthier.  What I would give to take those pounds back.  Another five pounds melted away prior to the operation, and ten more while in the hospital.  From one hundred and forty pounds, I was now one hundred and twenty.  Losing pounds by the minute from being undernourished, my lowest known weight was around ninety-four pounds within the next weeks.  The feeding tube helped, but gaining weight was out of the question.

My blood kept showing anemia, from the tests that were requested every day, and taken at that ungodly hour, when I just wanted to sleep.  When the doctor prescribed that I begin to get out of bed, I had some trouble.  The nurse lowered the bed rail, and stayed with me as I tried to sit up.  I managed to turn my body and let my legs hang from the side of the bed within a few seconds.  She didn’t help me, but watched to see if I could stand on my own.

As I pushed my weak body away from the hard mattress, I suddenly felt my head in a whirlwind.  Previous experience made it clear to me that I was losing consciousness;  and, for some reason, I was explaining to the nurse the stages I was in, once I almost fell into the chair at the end of my bed.  Her attention to the details was minimal – or it seemed, as she stared down at my chart.  I wasn’t aware whether she was writing anything down.

I’m not sure why I felt I had to explain every step, but maybe I thought she wouldn’t believe me or she would think I was stalling.  As the symptoms of fainting were very recognizable to me, it was comforting to understand what was happening was nothing more than a little weakness.  Being in bed for more than a week didn’t help, but surely the nurse would look after the problem.

My head was still, but the room span.  The heaviness in my head was unbearable.  It felt like it had been filled with liquid, and someone shook it like it were a snow globe.  My ears were blocked, and echoed all the sounds around me, as well as my voice that sounded distant.  After sitting for several minutes, I felt myself returning to normal.

The nurse helped me back into bed, and left it at that.  “I’ll have to speak to your doctor about this.”  She disappeared into the hallway.

 

Have an amazing day!

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