Hopefully Isabella learns to accomplish all she sets out to do, and doesn’t let time run her instead. I try not to spoil her by letting her have every new item on the market or have her way when it isn’t justifiable; but, I am confident that I give her all my love each day. When she was a toddler, I remember saying, “I don’t want to get in the habit of sleeping with her in her bed, so she doesn’t get used to it. She would have more trouble if I was no longer here.”
If I hadn’t been sick, would that have still been my premise to raising her? I do wonder whether I’ve prevented her from being traumatized should I have passed. Have I taught her not to be needy, or have I just missed out? Even though I’d occasionally give in to my methods, today I have some regrets about not having embraced every moment. It’s so real that time with your children escapes quickly. The epitome of good parenting I learned growing up tells me I did well in some of my choices, despite my befuddled rationality.
I love my Isabella more than my own life, and I want to be able to give her a better world, wonderful health, and genuine happiness. One person alone cannot provide so much perfection for another; and, in the end, I realize Isabella has to learn to find her own happiness now that she’s older. Hopefully, the lessons her parents try to teach her, the guidance we endeavour to give her, and the mistakes she and we make, are stepping stones to achieving as close to the best life as possible. It’s all much harder than we think, but like most parents, I just hope for the best for her.
We all want our children to have only wonderful experiences, but reality has shown that disappointment and health issues are part of life. It’s important that I teach Isabella how to deal with tragedy as well. Learning to embrace the good with the bad will make her a happier and stronger person.
I’ve told Isabella and others that having had cancer was a blessing. I would never have had the same appreciation for life, and the people who share it with me, were it not for that struggle. It was a wake-up call. Maybe I was taking life for granted, letting it pass without looking at how to fulfill myself. What do I want from this life? What do I need to achieve to feel great about what I leave behind?
What do you wish to teach your children before you die? Does this affect your daily life or your relationship with them?
Looking forward to your responses!