As for my daughter, I find myself trying really hard to teach her to be independent. The probability of my absence in her life has forced me to push her harder than I ever thought I would need to.
Certain lessons are about showing her appreciation for knowledge, being emotionally strong, and learning proper etiquette. Still today, I have to remind her, “you’ll want your drawers organized like this, so you can easily find what you’re looking for,” “don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and stand up for yourself,” and “even mommy wants to have certain things, but we don’t have to buy every thing we see.”
The latter may have sunk in a little. When she sees some thing she likes, she’ll point out, “Mommy, I don’t want you to buy it, but come and see this.” She seems happy even just to show it to me. Hopefully, that’s how she really feels, or have I given her a manipulation skill? I am glad to report that I don’t fall into that trap.
In a mother’s view, this may all seem normal. It’s much deeper than that for me. Not able to see a secured future – a feeling we don’t understand until we are struck with that real possibility – I want Isabella to learn quickly, in case I am not there tomorrow. Surely, this has put some strain on her. I try to stop myself from forcing her to grow up too soon, but my fear of an early demise gets the better of me.